Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
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U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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