It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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