marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
