I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i would punch a child for taco bell
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
