Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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