You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
