Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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