her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
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Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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