We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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