Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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