I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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