and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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