You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
