The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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