Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
