is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize