God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
