You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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