No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
