How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
