oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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