Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
