I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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