I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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