Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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