We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
