I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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