If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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