I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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