her vagine was all disorganized.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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