This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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