You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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