I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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