Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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