you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
