his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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