don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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