he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
