once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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