I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the room spins SO much faster in panama
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
