my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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