in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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