I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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