I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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