I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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