like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
