I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
