How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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