The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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