Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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