My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
