I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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