dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
