if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
