He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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