I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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