I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize