i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
