All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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