i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
