Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize