No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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