so explain again why im purple
no
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
